disheveled

a disheveled library-gal comes clean

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

never mind the bollocks

Note to self: don't even try to eat lunch in a room with a person with a nosebleed. If the blood doesn't make you sick, then their constant checking of the tissue to see if they're still bleeding will.

2nd Note to self: don't try to explain to a parent why their teen really does need to read the book on the summer reading list, and that coming in and printing out the plot synopsis from Masterplots won't help them in the least bit. she'll just make you print them anyway, and her MIA teen will fail miserably. not your fault.

3rd and final Note to self: Is that burning smell coming from my car, or another car? Can I smell it now? How 'bout now? If I'm NOT smelling it, does that mean the smell went away, or am I now just used to the smell because I've been driving in it for the past 20 miles?

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Game Used Balls

Ok. That last post was just shot to shit. Siobhan wanted to read it because it had to do with her tooth. And because she's staying up way too late -- Again! Anyway, after she read it, I explained to her my whole theory and what karma is, and what the thought process was...

Turns out they didn't catch the freakin ball at the game.

Turns out NO ONE got a ball - at the game.

Turns out, she wanted a ball so bad, she waited all game to catch one, and was sorely disappointed when there was no ball to be had.

Turns out in the Gift Shop there was a convenient little basket marked "Game Used Balls."

Turns out, that is what hit my 2 kids in their faces tonight, and THAT is what my whole "things happen for a reason" rant turned out to be -- a game used ball.

things happen for a reason

Things really do happen for a reason - and there is definitely karma out there. I don't know how, or why, or what its made of, but it's very real. Take tonight, for instance... My daughter had caught a baseball at a game last night, and got to take it home. This in-in-of-itself (is that how you write that?) was pretty amazing, because, how many people catch baseballs at baseball games? So anyway, she caught a baseball. And when she came home from the game all psyched and happy that it was hers, I thought to myself "hmm.. that's a real pro baseball .. that could really hurt the little guy" (our 2 yr old)... but I pushed all those fuddy-duddy feelings aside and was happy for her. I told her to be careful with it around her brother.

So -- tonight -- they are playing outside. She is throwing the ball into the air and catching it, and little man is standing next to her in awe of his big sis. Then, inevitably--WHAM! He gets socked in the face with the baseball. Lip is cut. Blood gushes. Mad crying ensues.

In the melee we lose the ball. Now they are both crying. Do I need this?

Later, we find the ball. All is right again with the world. We head into round 2 of throwing the ball in the air and catching it.

Unbelievably, again, ...WHAM! This time its Siobhan who gets hit with the ball. This time, no lip is cut. However, the ball smacks into this horrendous loose tooth she's been hanging onto for too long -- (We had named it Snaggle) -- blood gushes, crying again all around, in the madness she asks "Should I change my shirt, ma?" which was funny, because she was wearing a red shirt, so of course, I said "No!" About 5 minutes later after the cool cloth, some pulling, some agonizing, the dreaded tooth is freed from her gums. Hoorah!

Now -- I really do think that things like this happen for a reason. She got the ball at the game, where it probably should have hit her but didn't, it then hit little man, which was clearly a mistake, and then finally, the ball hit her. The ball was meant to hit her, and for her tooth to be pushed out by. Really.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Crunching numbers

At the library where I work we just recently migrated to a new ILS system. And its a fab system. Really. And patrons have the power to do more now than they did before with the old system. However -- to do these things, like holds from home, renewing materials from home, et cetera, etc., they need their library card number (duh!) and a PIN number. the PIN is the thing. I swear some people actually look crestfallen when I explain the PIN thing. Like, its 4 digits -- get over it! But (and there's always a But) the more I think about it, the more crestfallen I get over the whole PIN shenanigans. Oh you horrible PIN, how I do hate thee!! Let me count the ways!!! Here is the variety of PINs (and login user id's/passwords) I have in my life -- lets see how they add up:

1. OK - there's the blogger account, obviously
2. Bloglines account, not so obvious, but still...
3, 4, 5 - my 3 email accounts, all of which have different usernameloginpasswords
6. the login for my computer at work
7. the login for the ILS system on my computer at work, when I want to do reference type things
8. the login for the ILS system on my computer at work, when I want to do tech services types of things
9. the login for B&T to do the collection dev. stuff
10. forgot -- I have a 4th email, the tech-y one
11. the login for the server to update our webpage
12. the login for the reference pc's at work
13. the login for the public Internet pc's login software
14. the PIN for my own library card
15. the PIN for my mac card
16. the PIN for my mac card when I use the teller-phone system (yes, its different than #15)
17. the login for my amazon account (yes, I buy books too -- I know, I know, I can get them at work!)
18. the login for my expedia account (yes, I can even travel on my salary!)
19. the login for my ofoto account (wait -- they are now kodak easyshare -- is my pin the same?whatever)
20. the login for my other kodak easyshare account that I created because I forgot about the 1st one.
21. the PIN for my cell phone's voice mail
22. the PIN for my regular land line phone's voice mail
23. the PIN for my office voice mail
24. the pin for my live365 account ( love them -- I like 8ball radio the best)

It boggles my mind that just about all 24 of these are different from one another! Why!!?

That's all I can remember right now, but I bet you theres at least like 10 more. I know there's about 5 different passwords on computers at work so we can add/remove/replace/maintain the security on the pcs -- do those count as "mine" since I know what they are, and I need to use them on occasion? Shheesh! It felt good to get them all out though! It's like a mental purging of all these horrible numbers & letters & characters *&! just swirling around in my brain ***

How many do you have? (it's like that commercial, "so, what's in your wallet?")

Monday, August 15, 2005

what the heck

Some very strange things have been happening to me recently....

Today I got in my car and a song started on the radio. At first, I thought it was this one song that I like, that I don't know the name of, and don't know the band, but every time I hear it I love it -- but they rarely ever play the song, and it's from like 5 years ago, and you never hear it in its entirety cause you always catch it midway. So I think it's that song, but it's not -- it's some awful song by another band. (who's name I also forget, but they're not important) Quickly, I change the station, but I keep thinking of the song I wanted it to be, and its in my head all morning. I'm singing it in my head off and on for about 3 hours. Flash forward to lunch time -- I'm running late, heading out late, and need to quickly run out for a bite and then back to work again, -- jump in my car, turn on the radio -- and the song that is in my head, that I thought was playing in the morning but wasn't, is on the radio -- and, its at the beginning, so I get to hear the whole thing. I love that. It was instant happiness. It was my happy peaceful total zen moment of the day.

Strange thing number 2. A few days ago I got to leave work early and be home to take my daughter to her acting class. It's an hour long, so I figure, I'll hang out and read or something until she's done, rather than go home, sit for 10 minutes, then drive back over again. So the plan was to read. But it was 110 degrees out, and I didn't want to run the car for an hour, so I decided to go for a walk. I go and pay my taxes, I go and buy some tickets for a comedian, I think about buying an iced coffee, and then I am wandering around thinking of other close things to walk to, when I see that across the street from the acting class is a palm reader -- $5 for 1 hand, $10 for 2. Now, I know these things are silly, and can go either way -- total sheister, to total creepy -- and I have to say, I'm a smidgen of a believer in this stuff. And hey, for $5 I'm out of the sun for 15 minutes. So I start walking over, and I'm thinking about what will the "psychic" tell me, when a car pulls up to the curb, and out steps Melanie. Melanie was one of my closest and dearest friends all while growing up. We lived 3 houses down from each other, and were inseperable for a very large portion of our childhoods & teen years. And we had a huge gigantic enormous awful falling out 10+ years ago, and I haven't seen her since. (which, is a long and bizarre story involving 2 weddings and some awful bridesmaid dresses -- which I'll spare you the details of, unless you want to know sometime.) But -- I digress -- Here she is, plus husband and 2 kids, and here she is coming over to me on the street. I was kinda like a deer caught in the headlights. I have to say -- it was cool to see her, and then 5 seconds later, it was Not cool to see her. Does that make sense? So we walk to the pet store together -- her son needed live crickets for his iguana-- and we talk, exchange numbers, and I go pick up my daughter from her class. I've been running it over and over in my head ever since. Our "breakup" as friends was Huge -- it was really hurtful and devastating to me -- and, over the past 10 years or so it's definately crossed my mind more than once. So do I call her? I don't know. But I do wonder what the psychic would have said!

Strange thing number 3. (Cause they always happen in 3s). Work has been really really wierd lately. No one has been acting like themselves. It's like they've all changed roles with one another. Mean people are now nice -- Nice people are now rude -- Crazy people are sane -- and the one I really got on with is like a psycho split personality. What is up with people?

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

murderous rage

One month ago we moved to a new house -- (same town, different house), so my route to work has changed. On my way to work I pass by the local Planned Parethood clinic, which, among other things, provides abortions --And every day there is this old man out in front protesting. He wears a kind of flag or banner (floor length) around his neck of the Virgin Mary, and he holds up a crucifix ala Statue of Liberty style. Every day I get angry inside at him. Some days I put my window down and yell "go home!" and I feel better. Most days I have this kind of day dream where I see myself throwing a big juicy rotten Jersey tomato right at his head -- which, if you know me, is funny, because I don't throw. Really. When someone asks me to just chuck their keys at them, or toss them a pen, I won't. I hate to throw. But in this day dream I have a sunroof in my car (currently I have none), and through the sun roof I lob this incredibly huge, fat, red, squishy tomato out the sunroof, where it flies through the air and lands Splat! right on the guys balding head. Then everything goes black and white and birds appear like an Alfred Hitchcock movie and he gets pecked to death by this swarm of unruly seagulls and blackbirds -- all the while tomato juice and seeds just flying everywhere. It's awsome. Then I continue on to work, and I feel so silly for having that moment of murderous rage. Does this count as road rage, since I'm in the car, and I'm angry? Or, since he's not in a car, is it just called plain ole' rage? What if I ran over him and made him into a hood ornament? Would that be road rage, since then he'd be a part of my car? And just why does this old man bother me so? I feel bad for the people inside the clinic. Or, I wonder if they are just used to him by now, like we are at the library used to our crazy people. I wonder if they look out their windows at him and just say "yeah, crazy Ed is out there again. boy must he be hot." I wonder if he, in turn, is used to them as well -- does he say "good morning Dr. Abortion Man/Woman" to them as they all get out of their cars in the morning, ready to start their day? Can you imagine? What if they took coffee breaks together, and then went back to their posts -- the workers to their clinic work, crazy old holy roller Ed to his little stretch of sidewalk. I wonder if they live in this kind of peaceful love/hate zen state with one another -- you do your thing, we'll do ours? So -- I guess it's silly for me to get filled with rage at this guy -- he's just doing what he wants to do, even though I think he's wrong, and he should spend his retirement some other way - who am I to judge? And wasn't the whole crux of the matter the fact that I thought his protesting was a judgement of those who he has no right to judge? (besides, men have NO PLACE to tell us gals what to do with our bodies -- until they can get pregnant, they can shut the ... frick --- here I go getting angry again!) He is of no consequence to me or my life! I'm feeling a change -- tomorrow will be interesting -- maybe I'll give him a bottle of water. Maybe. It sure is hot out there.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

stolen memories stolen

I stole this from Tales From the "Liberry" who stole it from Errant Apostrophes who stole from Kunstemaecker:

10 Years Ago Today, August 6, 1995: I was nearing the end of my career working retail at a famous women's shoe store in the Woodbridge Mall, lower level, across from the carosel where kids would scream all day. My husband and I were married then for just under a year, and were living above his office supply store, in this tiny little apartment. It was heaven. We had no neighboors, a WaWa across the street, and an awsome pizza parlor, where the owner would trade us calzones and pizzas for office supplies. Selling shoes was awful, but the people I worked with were wonderful and hilarious -- "Skinny Anorexic Cocaine Lady", the store manager, who sang on the top of her lungs and hit us with pocket books -- "I'm Just Doing This Till I Get A Teaching Job Girl", who was mortified when her boyfriend proposed to her on a huge chocolate chip cookie (bought at said same mall), and "Dark Lip-Liner worn with White Lipstick Girl" who wore size 2 clothes even though she weighed 250lbs.

5 Years Ago Today, August 6, 2000: I was working full time at my first library job at a small public library -- 35,000 books, just over 4,000 square feet, staff of 3. I was the branch librarian, with one semester of library school under my belt, and was getting ready to start in the fall my 2nd semester. My daughter was 4, and my husband and I were desperate to move out of the tiny apartment above his store, which thankfully, we did the following year.

1 Year Ago Today, August 6, 2004: I was 10 months into my current job, and loving every minute of it -- The things I have learned since joining the larger public library where I am now is just amazing.

Yesterday: I worked all day, came home exhausted, and finished the latest Harry Potter -- why, I don't know.

Tomorrow: Clean the house in the morning, house guests in the afternoon, cleaning up in the evening! And hopefully getting a good walk in sometime if the heat breaks.

5 Snacks I Enjoy: Hershey Kisses, GORP (good old peanuts and raisins w/choc.chips), Sourdough Pretzels, Cherry Garcia ice cream, and a nice cold glass of Pinot Noir.

5 Bands That I Know the Lyrics to Most of their Songs: The The, Duran Duran, The Cure, The Smiths, The Clash

5 Things I Would Do With $100,000,000: Give a large chunk of $ to my parent's scholarship fund at Brookdale Community College and to the Holocaust Center there that my dad founded; pay off my family's debts; spend a month at Canyon Ranch; have a huge costume party where everyone would dress as their favorite super-hero; get a kick ass car (like a James Bond kinda car)

5 Locations I'd Like To Run Away To: Capri (Italy), Greece, Ireland, Israel, L.A.

5 Bad Habits I Have: Worrying, Smoking on Occassion, Cursing in front of my kids, Not Returning Phone Calls/Not Answering the phone because I know its you on my caller id, writing lists upon lists upon lists!

5 Things I Like Doing: Reading, Eating, Driving, Cooking, Hangin with my Family

5 Things I Would Never Wear: a bikini, a belly shirt, daisy dukes, a belly necklace, a tattoo

5 TV Shows I Like: Simpsons, Six Feet Under, Family Guy, Rock Star INXS, Fire Me Please! (yes, that is the name of a show!)

5 Movies I Like: It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, Tremors, Back To The Future, Tape Heads, Better Off Dead

5 Biggest Joys Of The Moment: Our new house, our new street, spending time with the kids, just finished a book and I don't have one "on deck", grandma's 93 and still hanging in there!

5 Favorite Toys: my palm pilot, my blog, my camera, the garden hose, the ceiling fan on the front porch

bakin potatoes, bakin in the sun

Will this heat never cease!? I don't know why, but I went to the beach Wednesday. I had the day off, its summer, we live about 10 minutes from the beach, and I had yet to go once this year, .. so I figured I would go. It was 96 in the shade, and there was no shade. The heat was incredible. It was like lying on the equator. So -- I'm sitting with my feet in the baby pool, watching my 2 1/2 year old play, and I get to talking with this lady next to me. "You should have been here yesterday," she says. "Really, why?" "A little one pooped in the baby pool, so they had to close it down. Then later, someone threw up in the big pool, so that closed. Then, everyone started screaming, and sure enough, there was a shark in the ocean, so everyone had to get out and off the beach. They kicked us all out of the club." I honestly didn't know what to say to this information. On the one hand, I was thinking, "she can't be serious" and on the other hand I was thinking "can that happen again to day so I can go home already!"

We didn't stay at the beach too long -- about 3 hours -- it was too hot even for my parents who go there almost every day. So we finally leave, and we go out for ice cream. The lady at the ice cream parlor sees our beach badges and says "oh, you go to X beach club! So do I! Were you there yesterday when the pools closed and then there was that shark! That was the coolest!"

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

little miss smarty pants

Twice in 2 days I was asked what I do for a living, and both times the response after "I'm a librarian" was "So you must know everything!" The first person said it with a smile in his voice, so he and I both knew he was kidding. The second person was dead serious. How do you respond to that? "Yes. Yes, you are correct. I do know just about Everything." Puh-leeze. Give me a break! It's so funny the things people truly believe about librarians. I remember when I left my "big corporate job" to go back to school and start a new career for myself -- my jackass of a boss laughed in my face and asked "why do you need to go to school to sit all day and read?" I visited the old office a few months ago, and that swarmy-Brooks-Brothers-wearin-golf-playin-whiskey-drinkin-H2-drivin-cape-cod-vacationin-stupid-corporate-drone was still there in his burgundy leather office with decoy ducks around him with the same stupid look on his face. Books lined the shelves of his office, with not a one of them with a creased spine. Compared to him, I do know everything.

Monday, August 01, 2005

staff room sillies

It's just me and staff person X in the staff room:
X says: "Wow. Look at these zucchinis."
Me : "Yeah. Y brought them in from her garden. Anyone can take them."
Holding up one, X:"I want this one. It looks great."
Me: "So take it."
X: "I will. But I have to go to the ladies room first, and then I'll be back for it. I wouldn't want people to see me walking into the bathroom with a huge zucchini."

Humpty Dumpty

I am on my way to work today, headed toward the highway, on a 2 to 3 lane 55mph road. I say 2 to 3 lanes, because it's 2, then 3, then 2 again. So anyway, there's this older man in a business suit riding a Harley next to me. He's probably around 5o or 60, guessing by his grey beard, but he looks like a cool guy because he's got one of those old fashioned tiny round helmets on, not one of those big-all-visor-types of helmets that look like they're for space travel. Anyway -- everyone is getting ready to either merge and get on the highway, or jam to the left to keep going straight, and we're approaching a traffic light just before the highway entrance. The light turns yellow, so we all are braking, merging, slowing.. getting over to the right, ..and Businesssuit-Harley-Man, who I've now merged behind, FALLS OVER. POW. I stand up on my brakes, my library bag goes flying under the dash, the seatbelt chokes me, and I do a quick scan in the rearview to see if the car behind me will be in my backseat when I next am able to breathe. This all is hapenning in slo-mo btw. Harley-Man's right leg did a shake-stop-shake-stop-shake kinda thing, while his left leg got further and further separted out, and then sure enough he's flying over the right side of the bike and standing next to it, still gripping the front, sort-of. The bike just kinda lays there, and Harley-Man is looking like he's gonna barf. As I take a breath and curse, we are a mere fraction of an inch from one another. A thousand thoughts in that one second. Do I get out and help him? He's not hurt. Did he crap himself or what? And I know better than to go see if he needs my help. First off, the bike is gi-normous, second, there are times when you just know that if you ask a person if they need you, when they've just totally humiliated themselves, the answer will be a curt "no thank you." Why rub salt in his wounds. So I wait, and the traffic behind me finally gets the clue to head left and around us, and then I reverse myself, and go around, while Fallen-Harley-Man rights the bike (after a few awful-to-watch attemps). Yikes. I needed some coffee after that one!