Actual Phone Conversation

"Hello, blah blah library reference, can I help you?"
'Here's my story. I went to dunkin donuts yesterday in blank town and they charged me 8% sales tax. Why?'
"why?"
"yes, why!"
"well, I don't know. I thought sales tax in NJ was 6%"
"IT IS!! So WHY did THEY charge ME 8%!!?"

So -- yes -- this lady is screaming at me, over the phone, because some stupid dunkin donuts over charged her for her coffee. 2% too much. On a buck fifty coffee, how much is that?

So, I calmly say to her,
"well, I hear how frustrated you are, and truly that obviously must have been a mistake, and I am sure someone somewhere in blankety blank town would be able to get to the bottom of this for you, perhaps by investigating this further." So I gave her the phone numbers for the police, the chamber of commerce, the better business bureau, and the township administrator.

Somewhere right now at some undisclosed dunkin donuts some heads are gonna roll.

two things

First: Today I got in a fight with my pantyhose and the damn stockings won.

Second: Yesterday I got a case of The Library Cooties. While stepping on a step stool to reach a higher shelf, I reached my hand up and grabbed onto said higher shelf, only to find my pointer finger suddenly very pained. It felt like I stuck a thumbtack. So I of course cursed "ouch blah blah" and when I looked at my finger to see what the hell had stuck me, I found a fingernail impalled on my pointer! Yes. Totally disgusting. Someone's rotten, chewed off, hastely removed, horrid fingernail bit was stuck into my flesh. Simply awful. I have since washed my hands about five thousand times, but I still feel like I have library cooties.

Reaction Delayed

What is it with the delayed reaction? Is it a coping mechanism, or what? Like, when you go through something traumatic, and all the while horrible things are happening, but you get through it like a champ, and people are like "wow -- she's tough", and then after its over, maybe 2 or 3 weeks or months after, then you get sick. Or you sleep for days. Or you somehow finally feel whatever it was you went through. You react. Its very strange how these things happen. And I don't think it only happens with bad things, I think it happens with the good as well. Perhaps we're just not equipped to handle all that much stuff at the time of it occurring? For instance, I just found out I got a new job, so I went to my current boss and gave her the news. And then nothing happened. Like Nothing. There was little to no reaction. It was eerie and strange. Then, the next day, I think she's accepted it, or came to terms with it, or something, and I finally did get the "we're gonna miss ya" and "you'll do great there" stuff I had expected the day before. And that was cool, and nice, and yet at the time when she said those things to me, I myself did not react -- it took me a day or so to realize what she said -- a delayed reaction to a delayed reaction --- oy vey.

golden flop

Is is just me, or does the coverage of the Olympics just suck? It's so scattered and doesn't follow any rhyme or reason. There is an 8 hour difference, right? So why do we see mens skating, downhill skiing, speed skating, back to the downhill skiing, over to the snowboarders, over to the skaters, back to speed skating, now a little downhill, then over to the mens skating, now a little snowboarding, here's a little more downhill, here's something with snow, somthing with ice, something blue, something nice, oh wait! i must be dozing off, and now back to Bob. What the hell is going on? Gimme a frickin break, guys, its 10 pm., do you know where your mind is? Mine is gone, man, just gone. And riddle me this -- Why does Bob Costas now look like a black haired beady eyed coke fiend? Has he always looked this bad, or is it because I'm watching him in high-def? Can someone check his motor, give him a tune-up, replace his batteries, Something, Anything, Please! Mr. Roboto is scaring me!

TAG! You're It

Tag-less shirts are by far the best invention in the fashion industry. I think they started with Haynes t-shirts/undershirts, but now almost everything from the Gap and Old Navy is tag-less -- Hurrah!

Gone are those itchy awful uncomfortable useless Size tags that would bother you all day long until you finally grabbed it with your arm bent behind your head and wrenched it like a dog chasing its own tail and pulled and pulled until it relented just a tiny bit, but not enough, to free it from itching your neck, and then you had to run, screaming, still clawing at this useless piece of tri-folded fabric, to find someone with industrial scissors so they could help release you from the madness, but in their haste, and your annoyed condition, they mistakenly cut the tiniest minutest littlest hole in your shirt, so that the very next time in the rinse cycle the stupid little spec of a rip grew to the size of a chick pea, so now forever and always your favorite shirt is ruined because you cut your hair too short to hang over the hole, so now everyone can see the freckles on the top of your back!!!

But now - hazah - they have given tatoos to t-shirts. Instead of the hang tag, there is now a stamped on size emblazoned right in the middle of the back of the shirt, so you are itch free and have the added bonus of knowing so easily which is the back and which is the front of your shirt!

I wonder if this is causing a huge amount of layoffs in 3rd world countries where all the tag-women used to work, stitching and preparing shirt tags. Now they are replaced with t-shirt tatoo machines.

And, lastly, when are bras going to follow suit? Why do they have not one, but TWO tags stitched onto the back strap? And, btw, just because those bra tags are made of faux silk does not mean they are any less itchy than the polyester shirt tags of old. they are still archaic, itchy, scratchy, and make those awful medieval torture devices (bras) all the more horrendous.