wood you please

Maybe its just me, but I find that when people start out like this, it only gets worse. I'm sitting at the reference desk, and a man walks in and says
'Hi'
'Hi, Can I help you?'
'Ah, yes, maybe you could help me. You see, I have this question, and I think perhaps you might know the answer, but I'm really not sure, so,..'
'Well, I'd be happy to help -- What's the question?'
'I just got back from Home Depot,
and they couldn't help me,
and they said to maybe check out my local library,
so I came over here,
but I've never been here before, ...'
'....'
'this is the right place, right?'
'Yes. This is the library, and this is the reference desk. What's your question.'
ps- in my head, and this point, I am screaming WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT ALREADY, but outside I am smiling patiently like an imbecile. I think my own sanity is diminishing with every umm and ahhh this guy mumbles.
Finally -- 'Do you have books on logs?'
!!??!!
'Logs?'
'Yes, logs. Like, types of logs, different kinds of logs, and like, how they burn.'
OK. Now I'm looking around for the hidden camera. Is this for real, or am I on some kind of Worlds Stupidest Questions show?
'Ahh, I'm not sure I understand your question... You need information on burning logs?'
'Yes. I have a fireplace, and I want to burn the best logs available, that produce the least amount of pollution, because I believe in the environment, and I heard that some logs are better than others... and I have a baby, and I don't want to have bad fumes in the house.'
This last part is actually a summation of my poking and prodding him some more until he finally laid it all out. In the end, I think even he thought he was being a tad ridiculous. I got him some books on fireplaces and how to chop wood, and he was very happy.
Deep breath in, Deep breath out. Onto the next question!!