hair we are
'your son has the most beautiful long hair'
'thank you'
'i thought he was a girl'
'well, ...he's not. obviously'
'so when are you going to cut his hair?'
'i don't know'
'its really long for a boy. how old is he? 2?'
'no, he's 3, and yes, it is long'
'so are you going to cut it?'
'right now? no.'
'some people might think he's a girl'
'i'm really fine with that, and i don't think he thinks about it too much. in fact, i don't ever think much about what other people may or may not think about my toddlers hair'
'he'll have to start school, though, so then you'll have to cut it'
'really. i had no idea that was a requirement of enrollment in school'
'he may have a problem and think he's a girl'
'well, he's in school now, and i think he's doing just fine. he only plays with cars and trucks and other boy-ish things. his long curly beautiful hair has not led him to choose barbies over trucks, and if for some reason, hair or other-wise, he did choose to play with dolls, i wouldn't care.'
'well, maybe you should put it into a ponytail'
'yeah, like thats not girly. sure. i'll get right on it'
'eventually, you realize it Must Be Cut'
'yes? does it really? perhaps not. perhaps because of your rudeness and idiocy i will never, not once, cut his hair. and then what? will he be shunned? will he fail? will he be confused for the rest of his days on his gender?'
'well, he'll have a hard time'
'a ha... hmm.. ok.. i'll take that under advisement'
Of course, this exact conversation never happened. But I do go through similar ones like this every once in so often, and in my head, I am answering back with all the obnoxiousness and stupidity of the subject itself. People need to relax a bit with the parental advice. Its not asked for, its not necessary, its not appreciated. My son has long hair. My 3 year old little boy has long beautiful gold curls. Hurrah!
h2o count = 16 oz. give me a break. its my 1st day.
'thank you'
'i thought he was a girl'
'well, ...he's not. obviously'
'so when are you going to cut his hair?'
'i don't know'
'its really long for a boy. how old is he? 2?'
'no, he's 3, and yes, it is long'
'so are you going to cut it?'
'right now? no.'
'some people might think he's a girl'
'i'm really fine with that, and i don't think he thinks about it too much. in fact, i don't ever think much about what other people may or may not think about my toddlers hair'
'he'll have to start school, though, so then you'll have to cut it'
'really. i had no idea that was a requirement of enrollment in school'
'he may have a problem and think he's a girl'
'well, he's in school now, and i think he's doing just fine. he only plays with cars and trucks and other boy-ish things. his long curly beautiful hair has not led him to choose barbies over trucks, and if for some reason, hair or other-wise, he did choose to play with dolls, i wouldn't care.'
'well, maybe you should put it into a ponytail'
'yeah, like thats not girly. sure. i'll get right on it'
'eventually, you realize it Must Be Cut'
'yes? does it really? perhaps not. perhaps because of your rudeness and idiocy i will never, not once, cut his hair. and then what? will he be shunned? will he fail? will he be confused for the rest of his days on his gender?'
'well, he'll have a hard time'
'a ha... hmm.. ok.. i'll take that under advisement'
Of course, this exact conversation never happened. But I do go through similar ones like this every once in so often, and in my head, I am answering back with all the obnoxiousness and stupidity of the subject itself. People need to relax a bit with the parental advice. Its not asked for, its not necessary, its not appreciated. My son has long hair. My 3 year old little boy has long beautiful gold curls. Hurrah!
h2o count = 16 oz. give me a break. its my 1st day.
posted by sara @ 7:47 PM
1 Comments:
At 10/17/2006 10:51 AM,
Anonymous said…
Yes, it is strange how important that is to some people! Girls may have short hair, wear boys´clothes and behave "boyish"! But with boys, it´s different! It must be that we (society) regard everything feminine or things/interests belonging to girls/women inferior to the "masculine" world.
A girl behaving like a boy ("tomboy"!), is a popular girl among people - she´s fun etc.! But a boy taking a girl´s position is a sissy and are looked down on! Sad, isn´t it?
Anyway, a boy in my son´s class is a "girl" like that! My son plays with him a lot, because he like this boy (we can call him "John"), he´s more interested in none typical boys´ activities, like soccer and other sports!
John actually has very girly features and with his beautiful, blond and very curly hair (down to his butt!), he´s always taken for a girl! But he seems to like that and don´t bother at all! His family think it is okay as long he is happy and don´t get teased about it. Of course, he was at first, but seems to have an enormous strength and power to withstand that! This resulted in no one in the class, being opposed to it today! The girls in school are thrilled - none of them has that kind of hair and they take every opportunity to brush and comb his hair!
At a party recently, the girls dressed him up totally as little princess with a laced, pink dress! There was no way, you could see that this really was a boy! It was stunning - how sweet he was and so happy!
But of course, I´m a little bit concerned and worried what will happen in the future with this "girlboy" , because, as I wrote earlier - society doesn´t take it easy with boys like this! I know that our school is also concerned and want to have talks with John´s parents. The one being the least worried seems to be John.
Yesterday, he came home to our house dressed in a long, pink girl´s coat and underneath a pleated skirt! Actually, my son was a little bit confused - perhaps it was to much for him!
He now asks me a lot of questions about John and why he prefers to be a "girl". Not easy to explain to little boy of 11, not to anyone for that matter!
What do you think would be best for this boy in the future? I guess forbidding him to wear those clothes would make him unhappy and would make him have guilty feelings.
Nessie
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