c'mon people now

So - the Internet was down in my library for 4 days -- We place signs everywhere, but still people come to the ref desk asking for the Internet. I say "sorry, no Internet" and this is what people say to me --

Silly Teen asks "even AOL?"

Bossy Businessman says "but I only have to use it for a minute"

Ludite Wife says "oh no - my husband will be so upset -- his business uses that Internet like all day." To which I reply "he uses the Internet in the library all day?" and she says "Oh no - in his office, here in town. If its down here, its off at his building too, right?"

Pushy Patron says "but I really need you to place my book on hold. can't you just do this one?"

Tenth Patron In A Row quips "bet you wish you had that old card catalog just about now, heh?"