disheveled

a disheveled library-gal comes clean

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

huh-larry-us

I love words when they are mispronounced, or exaggerated, or just used in a silly way. Something about that just makes me giggle. Take for instance the Pink song where she's talking about how she doesn't fit it, and isn't pretty, and people hate her... Oh yeah right, that's like every Pink song... Well, in this song, whose name I have no idea, she says the word "irritating" in the funniest way -- She pronounces it Eh-Rah-Tay-Ting, with a kind of Mass accent, like Mayor Quimby on the Simpsons. Can you hear it? Eh-rah-tay-ting. Eggzactically folks, now you hear it. And listen carefully, because in the public liberry you will hear the English language bastardized on a semi-frequent basis. It's just huh-larry-us, just ax anyone!

And speaking of songs with mispronunciation, and misuses, what about that Darkness song "one way ticket to hell and back."?!? Maybe its just me, but that sounds like a round trip!

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Settling In

So, the first week is over at my new job, and its starting to feel like a real job. You know, like the first few days always seem like 'what am I doing here,' ...'do I really fit in,' ...that kind of thing. Friday it all came together, and I'm thinking that on Monday it'll seem like I've always been there. I know I still have tons to learn and adjust to, but I'm getting there fast, which is good.

Went to the Y this morning with my daughter for her swim class. What is it with people, that when they 'hit the gym' they get that 'comparison shopper' attitude? Like, 'how do my pecks rate against yours' kinda thing. I hate that. Just mind y'alls beezwax and we'll get along just fine. I'm not there as a show piece, in any way shape or form, so stop the staring --

To quote my favorite Kelly LeBroc advert -- Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful :)

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

all that glitters

What a week! And its only Wednesday. This week I am living up to my blog-name -- I started my new job on Monday, and have felt so completely disheveled. Actually, while AT the job I feel good. Its just when I am leaving, driving home, and thinking about the whirlwind of a day I've had, and getting home, and sitting down finally, that the Dishevel hits me. I mean, look, its 7:20 pm, and I'm in my jammies. Well, actually, I always change into jammies when I get home. But I don't match. Usually my pjs match, or at least are in the came frump category, like t-shirts go with sweats, nightgowns go with robes, 2 piece jammies go with, well, they're 2 pieces - they go with each other! Tonight I'm wearing a short nightgown with sweatpants and then a crazy fuzzy cardigan -- what the hell? And I think my hair is doing a Cinderella on me - once it struck 6pm it turned into a chiuaua. Wait - thats not a fuzzy dog -- whats a fuzzy dog? A schnauzer? Anyway, you get the hint. I'm a mess and Lost hasn't even started. And forget about all domestic duties. I have barely started the dishwasher.

But I love this new job! And thats cool. And I guess its ok to hold it all together by day and then dish out the dishevelment in the pm.

Oh - and btw - Median Man was back again this weekend. Someone gave him a coat too. Womans coat. Purple. Fuzzy hood. Not great, but we're getting there people.

Friday, March 17, 2006

train wreck

Every day I get stuck in the same traffic at the same light at the same time. It is the last and final traffic light before I get to my house, so of course, while sitting there through 3 to 4 to sometimes 5 (!) changings of the light with little to no movement forward, time always seems to be running in reverse, making me more and more and more irritated and it begins my mental questioning my decision to live in this over-crowded, over-populated, over-SUV'd, New York Wannabe state.

Today, however, was different. It was Friday. I attended a meeting, and didn't have to go back into the library, so I was heading home early -- I was happily zip zip zipping through the streets thinking today my luck would change, and I would pass through the dreaded intersection sans-waiting.

Unbelievably, Unimaginably, the line was Longer. Like Way Longer. Like 'what the f--" longer. Crawling forward inch by inch, I finally get a glimmer as what is going on. Turns out there is a man - can I assume homeless? I think I can, but I'm not 100 percent sure, but lets just say this -- There is this obviously life-challenged man sitting on the median right at that dreaded light. The traffic light is at an intersection where 5 different sets of streets get to take turns going, so there are like many many cars and like many many people all looking at this man.

He is dresed in rags. And I don't mean this figuratively. Literally folks, the man is in rags. Rags with a hood. And he has an assortment of bags and paper-y things around him. He also has 2 black small containers set up kinda like a double-boiler, and he is cooking something right there in the median. He has about 7 straws taped end to end with black electrical tape, and he's kinda like smoking whatever is in his makeshift pot. Truly. I cant make shit like this up myself.

So ALL CARS MUST STOP is the new rule of the road. I swear. Someone used their cell phone, and called DMV, got he pres onthe line, and they had a meeting, and then they made an ammendment to the rules of the road, and then they put out a public service announcement on all the channels, and like Everyone knew. So Everyone stopped, and gawked, and witnessed the public brewing and inhaling in the median of the busy intersection.

And, of course, I looked too. I mean, its obvious, since I just relayed it with such detail. But I didn't want to look. And I didn't want others to look too. Something about it was just so awfully sad. And terrible. And people just suck, don't we? Not one person went out and helped the guy. I guess he did look kinda scary. But, he also didn't look scary at all. He was smoking, and then he'd get up and dance, and then he'd sit down and laugh, and move his arms like he was a conductor of some great musical. And everyone sat there tying up traffic, doors locked, and watched as the police finally came and led him away.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

what's new!?

I know, its been weeks! I've been crazed lately. I am starting a new job next week, in a new library, new library system, and am totally "stoked" (if I can steal a word from Spicoli)!

I've been shopping lately,and having such a strange time of it. All the spring clothes are out, but none of it looks very professional -- its all pinks and pastels, flowery and flowy -- real pros can't wear that stuff, can they? And what does a 30 something librarian wear these days, anyway? I'm not in a business environment that warrants wearing a suit, I'm not young enough to pull off the trendy things, I'm not old enough to pull off the matronly hag look... What's a girl to do? I seem somewhere to have lost my sense of style! I now look for things like - does it come with elastic somewhere in waistband? -- does the color match well with my greys? -- can I look taller in this, and not like an ottoman? -- is this in anyway FUN!? I like fun clothes, but alas, they are nowhere to be found :) I got 3 days left to pull it all together!